Don't Ask if You Don't Wanna Know

👋 Hey, it’s Matt. Welcome to my weekly newsletter where I share insights about the hard parts of running a company no one warns you about. Full archive here.

There's a peculiar form of organizational self-sabotage that I've watched play out dozens of times: the well-intentioned but poorly executed employee engagement survey.

It always starts when leadership decides they need to "take the pulse" of their organization. They distribute a carefully crafted survey, promising anonymity and championing transparency. Employees, initially skeptical but hopeful, pour their hearts out into text boxes and multiple-choice questions. Then . . . nothing happens.

Actually, worse than nothing. What follows is a slow erosion of trust that's far more damaging than never asking in the first place.

When you ask for feedback, you're making an implicit promise to act on it. Not necessarily to implement every suggestion, but to thoughtfully consider and respond to the input you receive. Each ignored survey response becomes a tiny breach of trust.

Most leaders understand this intellectually, yet they keep making the same mistake. They convince themselves that gathering feedback is inherently valuable, that employees will appreciate simply being asked. They're wrong. Asking without action isn't just neutral—it's actively harmful.

Fixing this isn’t complicated, it just takes backbone.

Don't ask questions you're not prepared to act on. If budget constraints mean you can't address compensation concerns this year, don't include questions about salary satisfaction. If you're not willing to consider remote work, don't ask about flexible working preferences.

Then, when you do ask, be explicit about what happens next. Will this inform a decision you're making, or is this truly a collaborative process? Set clear expectations about how the feedback will be used and when people can expect a response.

The next time you're tempted to launch a survey because it feels like the right thing to do, or because some consultant told you it's best practice, or because you read about it in Harvard Business Review—stop. Ask yourself one question: Am I actually prepared to make changes based on what I learn?

If the answer isn't a solid yes, backed by time and resources, then do everyone a favor and don't ask. Your employees will respect you more for your honesty than your performative interest in their opinions.

Because in the end, not asking is far better than asking and ignoring. At least then you're only preserving the status quo instead of actively destroying trust.